A Letter: we need to do better because we can.

Part I: Dearest Family

When you left your lives in Vietnam to start a life in America, it was out of love for us. You sacrificed what you knew, for what you didn’t. You wanted the next generations of our family to have the opportunities you couldn’t.

When you didn’t allow us to listen to certain radio stations growing up, it was to shield us from profanity or potential harmful influences. When you didn’t allow us to watch TV for more than an hour a day or made us finish our homework before any play time, it was to teach us discipline. When you had us participate in community service at the temple, it was to teach us to be good citizens.

When you rose in the morning at 3 AM to commute from Anaheim to Santa Clarita for work and came home on time to make dinner for us, you taught us about work ethic. Providing for the family. You kept us fed. All seven of us.

I believe and will always believe that you are good people. I love you more than I can say and words will never be enough to show that. Therein lies my frustration and confusion.

Just because I care about Black lives, does not mean I do not care about the Asian community.

Note: Contrary to what most people think, calling a person Black is not taboo… Most of the Black community prefer to be called Black rather than African-American, as not all Black people identify with African-American. But this will vary from person to person, so if you are corrected, use whichever term they prefer. I found this infographic below helpful.

Just because I want cops to stop killing people of color without reason, does not mean I hate cops or want to eliminate them from society (that would be wild).

Just because I am choosing to speak up about the racism that occurs in our family and the Asian community, does not mean that I am trying to disrespect you.

Just because I don’t agree with you, does not mean I am against you.

Just because we were educated differently in college, does not mean that we “don’t get it” or know less than you.

Just because you have always been OUR teachers, does not mean that you cannot learn something new too.

Just because you are not perfect, does not mean we do not love you. If anything, it is mostly quite the opposite.

Part II: If X, Then Why?

If Asian people were able to make it in America by playing by the rules fair and square, other minorities should be able to as well. This is wrong because:

• America allowed Asians to come to America to work on railroads, fishing, farming, NOT to be slaves. Not to be treated as PROPERTY. To be sold whenever to whomever. Therefore, it was not fair and square because we were still more privileged.
• Even after rights were “given” to them, they weren’t really given. The Jim Crow laws enforced racial segregation. You could not share the same space, bathrooms, buses, etc. with white people.
• The “model minority” theory is a MYTH. Society, media, and the government has manipulated us into thinking that just because “we became successful”, then “they can too”. They used the Asian community to perpetuate institutionalized racism against Black people, to make it okay to create a “them” and “the others”. They played us. But it’s okay, because I am guilty for once believing that as well.

If Asian people faced discrimination too, then we also faced minority discrimination, same as them. But you don’t see us protesting? Yes and no.

• Yes, Asians faced discrimination before the Civil Rights Movement and immigrants from Asia were not allowed for 60 years. BUT the Civil Rights Movement started by Black/African-American communities allowed us to enter the country again in the 1960s. We are only here because they fought the battle for us. We didn’t have to.
• We never faced the same discrimination they did, especially not on a SYSTEMIC institutionalized level. That means that when they depended on the criminal justice system to defend them, they failed. Think corruption.
• This is NOT ABOUT US!

If Black people aren’t criminals, then why are most criminals Black?

• Because of mass incarceration and racial discrimination in the criminal justice system. Mass incarceration means extreme rates of imprisonment, in fact, America has the HIGHEST rate of imprisonment in the world. As for racial discrimination in the criminal justice system, well, it still persists today (hence how the BLM movement started). But here are some statistics.
• https://www.sentencingproject.org/publications/un-report-on-racial-disparities/
  • Although Black people have a higher rate of involvement in CERTAIN crimes, white Americans still overestimate the proportion of crimes committed by them.
  • Black people are 3 times more likely to be arrested for drug possession than white people
  • Black people are 3 times more likely to be searched and arrested after being stopped than white people
  • Receive longer sentences than white people

COVID increased discrimination against Asians, so why should we stand up for them?

• Because we wouldn’t be in America without them fighting for rights first.
• Because there is no THEM or US. This is the sort of thinking that will divide our country.
• I am sorry if you have been a victim of this. Your struggles matter too, but this kind of discrimination has been around for the Black community for many, many years.

Protests, violence, and looting is not the answer. They should protest peacefully. I think that violence and looting should be avoided if possible. Of course protests should happen peacefully, but:

• Killing George Floyd for forging a $20 check is not the answer.
• That was the tipping point for Black communities.
• the Black Lives Matter movement has been going on for a long time and communities have tried advocating for their lives peacefully, but to NO avail.
• When NOTHING seems to be working, people are willing to put themselves at risk for their human rights.
• When society pushes them to the point where they see no way out and exhausts their patience, when the anger builds and builds over years, violence can ensue.

The majority of cops are good. Why are Black communities protesting for a few Black lives lost?

• With that logic, one could argue back, well the majority of Black people aren’t “thugs”.
• But do we really know what’s going on at the community level, other than what the news/media shows us? To Black communities, this is almost “normal” because it happens on a daily basis. Just because the news doesn’t show us what’s going on in the communities and doesn’t show us what every cop is doing, doesn’t mean that it’s not happening at a more systemic level.
• Majority or minority, accountability needs to be taken so that people feel safe. Period.

Why should we care?

• While it is only natural to think of ourselves first, when it leads to unfair KILLING of human beings, it’s NOT okay.
• But if that’s the sort of thinking that can help people understand, I want to retort with: what if it were us? What if it were Asian people that were being racially profiled, discriminated against, and killed? What if we were next? Wouldn’t we want others to stand by us?
• I don’t want to live in a world where all lives aren’t treated equally. I don’t want my kids to grow up in that kind of environment. And honestly, I really don’t want to wait and find out.

Some people are using the BLM movement as an opportunity to loot, “act irresponsibly” or because it’s “cool”. It’s hard to support them because of this.

• Most of the protests are peaceful, but the media will often only depict the most negative aspects of the protests.
• I can’t validate whether these claims are true, but if they are, then shame on those individuals for tainting the entire movement. Still, that shouldn’t take away from the majority of the people who are protesting to be heard.

Part III: We Can Be Better

Earlier I mentioned that I believe my family are good people. I believe that all people are born good, but nature has a way of influencing even the best of us. For the Asian community, it might have been the “model minority” myth. It may have been the frustration they saw with some citizens taking advantage of government assistance. It may have been the media. I don’t know, but I do believe our community is good and that we can be better.

Some might wonder what the point is of trying to get through the rigid belief systems of our Asian relatives. I ask myself the same thing. I don’t have all the answers for everyone, but for me, I don’t want to tell my kids that my family, relatives, or community did not help fight for Black lives. Also it would be nice if they could change their vote in the Fall… Whether or not the presidency has to do with the increase in hatred in this country is not something I want to discuss here, but I think it might help the current climate.

As part of the Asian community, I know that we are capable of compassion, empathy, and camaraderie. Many of us come from collectivist societies! That’s why I KNOW we can do better. So let’s do better!

Final Words

As you may have deduced, I am pretty passionate about this. But I’m still not perfect. There is so much I don’t know, so much I need to learn. I have said the wrong things in the past. I have made racist comments in the past, even if I wasn’t aware of it at the time.

One of the reasons why I applied to the VCU School of Medicine was because of the underserved track offered called I2CRP (International Inner City Rural Population). This program teaches student-physicians how to care for underserved populations. But I did not have much exposure to Black/African-American communities. I used to be afraid of walking around Richmond because Black communities make up a huge proportion of the inner city here. But through I2CRP, I learned more than I could have hoped for about the Black communities. I learned of their strength, resilience, and kindness. I may write about the specific experiences in I2CRP that my classmates and I shared later, but for now that’s all!

I have been called “naive” for my views, but I think that we are stronger together, not divided. I don’t know what people are going to think about me sharing my perspective like this. I’m afraid that I may have said the wrong thing and I am sorry if I did. But I am all ears. I would rather risk saying the wrong thing and then learn from it, rather than say nothing at all.

With love,

Kelly

Kelly

Internal medicine resident physician at UCLA, primary care track. VCU School of Medicine c/o 2022. SoCal born and raised.

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